TRUTH revealed: ABORTION HURTS WOMEN

 by Darlene Wood-Harvey

I am speaking to you today because ABORTION HURTS WOMEN. It’s taken me over 34 years to be healed, strong and brave enough to share my story.

In 1973, as a 22-year-old, naïve and unsuspecting college girl, a long way from home. I hung out with nice, but amoral people who drank alcohol and were involved in pre-marital sex. I went along with the crowd and the consequences were my getting pregnant, although I didn’t know it at the time. I was too proud and independent to ask my family for help. I ended up at a "free" Planned Parenthood clinic (PP). They did a test and told me it was "positive." PP told me "it" was “only a blob of tissue” which could easily be removed for $200 (cash).

Physical Cost of Abortion

When I arrived for the “procedure,” the man entered the room and said something about giving me a shot and that I would hear a sound like a vacuum. He did NOT tell me about the horrible cramping and pain I would experience. I was awake through the procedure and experienced excruciating pain. I was crying and did not understand what was happening. I’ll never forget the pain and the noises coming from the tubes going out of my body. Everything went silent. The "doctor" turned away as he said I could rest a few minutes and leave by the back door. Immediately after the abortion, I felt nauseous, had sharp pains, experienced a lot of bleeding and weakness-too sick to sit. I was traumatized. This was my first gynecological experience. To this day I have trouble going to see a gynecologist.

The Cost of Infertility

During the following months, I STILL experienced severe pain and bleeding. I did not trust Planned Parenthood, so I went to a doctor who told me what the "procedure" was…an abortion! He also told me that PP had put an IUD inside me WITHOUT my knowledge or consent! I felt violated, betrayed and angry! I demanded the IUD to be removed, which was very painful. The doctor said the tissue damage and scarring in my uterine lining from the abortion and IUD may cause me to be childless. Planned Parenthood’s abortionist killed my only child and I am childless.

Emotional Cost of Abortion

At this point, I hated myself. I made bad decisions for my life. Nightmares filled my life. I became a workaholic and a near alcoholic. About three years after the abortion, I suffered from low self-esteem, physical pain and many other symptoms including panic attacks, short-term memory loss, debilitating fatigue, isolation and suicidal depression. I thought I was going crazy! I saw a psychiatrist. He told me I wasn’t crazy, but that I was suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome. The hell and reality of remembering the abortion started in the early 1990’s and continued until March 2008. Abortion cost me my womanhood.

The Cost to Women's Lives

Thank you Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I am now forgiven and set free and active in helping other women to NOT make the same mistake I made! The most important thing about abortion that I think people need to know is that abortion is not the answer to problems. Abortion creates problems. Women need to SEE and HEAR THE TRUTH ABOUT the destruction of ABORTION and how it kills their unborn children. Women need love. Abortion destroyed what made me a woman. Abortion wreaks havoc on women’s lives - it is NOT a safety net, but a HEALTH HAZARD!

Conclusion

I regret my abortion. Women deserve better than lies – they need Truth. With God’s help, I’ll defend TRUTH. I choose both the woman and her baby whose heart is beating at four weeks! I AM SILENT NO MORE. Thanks be to God - there is help and hope for hurting post-abortive men, women, and families through His Grace and Mercy.

 Immediate Help Here

Testimony of Nancy B.

When abortion became “legal” I was 16 and pregnant. My friends told me it was no big deal and that they knew where I could go to make it go away. I hardly gave it a thought, just wanted to go back before being pregnant. I was so naïve. We went and got the pregnancy test. The day of the appt we had to stop, I got sick on the way. I remember having to go up stairs to an office behind a building. I was called in, was given the D&C (many women get d&c’s, it’s just a cleaning out of the uterus they told me, no big deal). All that remained was the bloodstained pad I wore. Now that it was over I could get on with my life, I felt relieved. I remember lying in bed when I got home which seemed like for days. Depressed, guilty, not understanding why. My friends wanted me to go to a music festival, I lay there, didn’t want to see anyone. Nobody talked about what had just happened, I didn’t talk about it either. My life spiraled down the road of despair – drinking, drugs, sex. I didn’t even know why I was going to college. The drinking and drugs continued, sex with a new boyfriend. I hardly attended class. I was withdrawn, depressed. I did all kinds of drugs. A friend told me I should get help, what did she know, I thought. I dropped out of college and moved back home, I wasn’t college material. After a while I decided to go to Tech school. It was good, yet the drugs continued and the sex. I got pregnant and quit school, got a full time job, had the baby, then got married. It just seemed the right thing to do. I got married for security reasons. It wasn’t long before my husband told me he was having an affair. We had two children. My life was shattered. I couldn’t bear the pain. Our family never had a chance to develop and our marriage meant even less. I took the children and left him but continued to secretly see him. Six months later I found out I was pregnant again. I felt so alone, betrayed, no one understood what I was going through, no one supported me or encouraged me. Instead they said that I should get an abortion. And then told me I wasn’t fit to raise three children alone. I was ashamed of my pregnancy, I felt scandalized and cheap. I blamed myself. So, one cold freezing day in November my sister took me. It was a darker place than last time and again I went up the stairs. I remember lying on the table. I heard the clinking of instruments, the vacuum. I tried to mentally remove myself from the surroundings. Afterwards, I was taken to a room to recover. There was another girl there, she was sad. We didn’t talk. As I lay there, I knew that I had rejected God and ignored His plea to trust Him. I felt so empty. On the way back down the stairs I remember people in a lab examining things, my baby probably. Upon reaching the parking lot, God provided a sign to me, a car with a Satanic Symbol bumper sticker. It confirmed to me that I had just participated in an evil act and had indeed turned away from God. I was so disgusted with myself and was helplessly longing for love that I retuned to my husband. A year later, I had the baby boy that everyone in the family adored, except me. I loved him and my two girls, but didn’t understand at the time I was suffering post-abortion stress. I felt like an inadequate mother. There was so much guilt and shame, I lived in darkness. One day I had a vision of Jesus in the Agony of the Garden. I felt like it was the end of the world. It was Good Friday; I ran to confession and confessed my abortions. Shortly afterwards, my husband started a new affair, this time with the babysitter. I became self-abusive; I cried so much I wished I would die. I packed my bags and the kids and I left. I was a lonely single mother. I loved my kids and truly enjoyed spending time with them; we had so much fun together. I didn’t give myself time to heal; I buried my pain and clung to the first man that entered my life. Then I had a break down. I felt so unworthy of being a mother to my children. I felt that my children would be better off without me. So, I left. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going. I withdrew from the world. I spent days in my new boyfriend’s apartment, lying in the bedroom. He was very supportive and his family was caring and Catholic. They encouraged me to go to college. They didn’t know of the abortions and he didn’t either. I felt I had to prove to myself that I could accomplish something this goal. The children would come to stay on the weekends. It was good most times. God was continuing to call me to return to Him. I returned to Mass. My boyfriend became Catholic and we got married. After a year of happiness it started to get more and more difficult. He was very controlling, verbally abusive; I refused to acknowledge it. I felt that I deserved it and accepted this way of life. My relationship with my children was deteriorating before my eyes. But I kept faithful to God, praying for the best to come of my situation. I heard about Rachel’s Vineyard and attended the first RV in our diocese in 2007, without the support of my husband. The weekend retreat changed my life. I was finally able to grieve my loss and accept God’s forgiveness and to forgive myself. I accepted that my children are with Jesus. My life of darkness replaced with His light. I started going to counseling and was treated for depression. My relationship with my children got better. God gave me the courage to end the abusive relationship I was in and to accept that He had better plans for me plans to give me hope and a future. After attending my first March for Life in 2009 I felt a tug on my heart to be Silent No More. I have learned to put my trust in God alone; He does not condemn me, my children in heaven do not condemn me. My children with me during my time on earth do not condemn, I do not condemn me. He is the One that gives me the courage to speak the truth. I hope that my testimony can be used towards the day when no more babies die and no more mothers cry. Because of this, I am Silent No More.

Testimony of Rosie

I have gone thru 2 unwanted pregnancies and 1 pregnancy that I wanted very much but she died. As for the 2 unwanted pregnancies, of course we know I aborted the one or two. I always wanted twins and who knows it might have been my twins I always wanted. The pregnancy I aborted might have been my twins. Yes, I have confessed my sin and I believe God has forgiven me because that is his word. My children all know about the abortion, not because I am proud of it (cos I AM NOT) but because If I can help them or anyone else to not go thru what I have, then I will! I went thru a lot of Pain & Agony because of that abortion. That abortion hurt more physically than any of my labor & deliveries. I felt like my insides were coming out, then afterwards I found out how my baby(s) was killed. It really was a nightmare and agony! For a long time I couldn't accept God's forgiveness. I cried many nights. Finally the only thing that did help me is that I know God has forgiven me and that my daughter Amanda would not be here if I hadn't gotten the abortion. I would have been pregnant, (3 months after my abortion I got pregnant again) therefore I couldn't have gotten pregnant for her. The other unwanted pregnancy was for my son Tadd. I had just gotten back with my husband George after a 3 yr separation w/ us being in different states. I had gotten saved, he said he had changed, so we thought we may be able to work it out. He began being abusive again and I knew it wouldn't change so we separated again and finally divorced. I begged God to make me have a miscarriage, all along my pregnancy. I did not want another baby by myself. My son Tadd, had a lot of problems during labor and delivery. I didn't get to touch him till he was 3 days old or hold him for a week. All the time in labor and delivery I was begging God to NOT take my baby. My pregnancy I wanted very much was new husband and my last child, Allissa. We even prayed & ask God to save Allissa but unfortunately God didn't give us our little girl. God saw the whole picture not just a piece of the puzzle like we do. He knew it was best for her to go to heaven. She had 4 holes in her heart, a valve that wasn't closed & a missing bone between her knee and ankle. She could have been blind or deaf and definitely be worse than Down Syndrome. She probably would have been a Vegetable and that is no way of life. The Doctors encouraged us to make it easier on our family and abort her when I was about 6 months along. After everything I went through in the other abortion there is No way I would abort another baby! They even ask us to sign a do not resuscitate if she was born not breathing. We told them No, You do everything you can for her. She lived one day but was a beautiful baby and we are so thankful that we trusted God! So yes My answer about abortion is different than years ago. Abortion should never have been legal in the first place, then I wouldn't have had my abortion. No I am not blaming anyone but myself. Yes I am a Christian, because I have accepted Jesus as my Savior, believe the Jesus was born of a virgin & believe the Jesus is the son of God. I pray for others and ask for forgiveness all the time.

God Bless You,
@}--\-,---
Rosie

If you struggle with the pain of abortion or if you know someone struggling, there is help! Email

Testimony of Suzie S.

This is my testimony. This is where I was! I became pregnant at the age of 19 and my boyfriend was 21, that was 29 years ago. When I found out I was pregnant I was scared. When I told my boyfriend he was also scared. Scared to tell his parents because he was the oldest and didn’t want to disappoint them. He told me... you can’t have this baby. So what was I to do? I felt I had no choice, but to have an abortion. When the day came my boyfriend picked me up and left me at the clinic. I was all alone with no one to support me. When the time came for me to have the abortion I was so scared I believe they explained what they were going to do…but I was numb all over. When they performed the abortion, day….I will never forget the sucking sound in that cold room. That was the day I died emotionally. I did care what happened to me, I was worth nothing. When my boyfriend picked me up and he took me home. I hid the abortion from my mom she just thought I was sick. From that day on we never talked about it again. I never grieved for my baby. This became my dirty little secret! I stayed with my boyfriend because I figured no one else would want me. I ended up marrying my boyfriend how stupid was that? Like I said earlier this was as good as it was going to be. I actually resented him for not standing up to his parents and protecting me. I lived in silent pain for many years. I ended up having twins at age 20, a boy and a girl. I thought to myself why is God giving me twins….when the year before I killed my baby. At 23 I had another boy. I loved my babies and I did the best I could with what I had. There was times when I couldn’t bond with them ….because I thought to myself you don’t deserve these babies. I punished myself for years. I felt trapped in marriage, I just wanted out. After 13 years of marriage we divorced. We stayed civil for our kids. I didn’t want my kids to feel the way I did not having a father in their life. We did the best we could to co-parent….I know I taught my kids things like hiding your emotions, having no peace with yourself. I never said I hated their dad, but they saw it. These were all unintentional. I didn’t wake up one day and say “I’m going to scar my kids” no that’s not it at all, but that’s all I knew.

And this is where God has taken me!

I remarried in 2002 to my high school sweetheart we were both 16 when we met. He was already a Christian, but had walked away from God due to issues in his life. During our marriage I always felt something was missing in my life….so I started asking him questions about Christ. He felt much conviction because he walked away from Christ. In 2008 I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, and my husband rededicated his life to Christ. When I started going to discipleship classes at church, I knew I had to let my dirty little secret out. Our pastor was our teacher and we talked about what I did. We prayed and I asked God to forgive me, I just needed help in forgiving myself. You see I blamed my ex-husband for many years that it was all on him. I knew God had forgiving me, but I just couldn’t forgive myself because I didn’t want to take responsibility for my choice, then when I realized I made that horrible choice too, I had to own it, take responsibility in that horrible decision and that is where I found my Freedom!

I am no longer ashamed of my past, my dirty secret. I have shared my testimony at church and when God opens the door. I am no longer a victim, I am a survivor. I now volunteer at a pregnancy center to counsels women who come in pregnant and don’t know where to turn.
I participated in an awesome bible study with four women at my church, it was dealing with our past. You know we can’t do anything about the past, but this class gave me answers as to why I made certain decisions in my life.

Here is a letter I wrote to my childhood system (my past)

Today, I hereby state and choose to say my last good-byes to my childhood system, the deceits and all the setbacks that I encountered because of these things. The devil wanted me to stay in that destruction, but God has set me free from all of that.

I say my last good bye to being lonely; with God in my life I am no longer alone. I say my last good bye to not hearing that you are not loved, because God tells me every day that he loves me. I say my last good bye to people pleasing; God is the one I choose to please. I say my last good bye to corrupt relationships, my relationship with God will make my relationships healthier. I say my last good bye to forgiveness upon myself. God forgave me the first time I asked him. I say my last good bye to my abandonment issues; God has promised he will never abandonment me. I say my last good bye to all the disapproval issues, God will lift me up when I’m down. This is it and no more……… big sent off, farewell, goodbye, adios, ta ta, to all this damage that the devil wanted me to stay in.
Hello to my Life in Jesus Christ.

If you struggle with the pain of abortion or if you know someone struggling, there is help! Email

An Open Letter - I Am Pro-Life

This was written by a Facebook Friend, she has given me permission to share it with you.

Greetings fellow parishioners, followers of God. My name is Kate Behselich and I am 24 yrs. old. I am writing to you all on behalf of the ones that are unable to speak for themselves, those that have been silenced. You should all be aware of the horrific aspect that is killing millions of innocent lives and that is killing me inside as well. What I would like to address are the realities of abortion and how your actions can help me - as well as millions of other Christians - stop abortion once and for all.

    A recent personal experience of mine at work helped to show me the difference in viewpoint between people that are pro-life and those that identify themselves as pro-choice. A baby shower was to be held for the mother of an unborn baby. The doctor told her that she would be having a boy. Although the child hadn’t yet been born, here we are already identifying the child by gender, calling it by name, and showing the little one respect.

    Later that night I was thinking about the baby shower, and then it hit me. We pro-lifers call the party a “baby shower” because there is a yet-to-be-born baby still in the womb, a life to be lived, ten fingers, ten toes, one heartbeat, one body, one life. A pro-choice person would call the shower a “fetus shower”, but then again there would be no fetus shower because there would be no fetus.

If it had not been for Facebook coupled with my faith in God I probably would not have had the courage to actively take a stand against abortion. I am pro-life and proud to declare it here in this letter. I have been, like most of you I’m sure, a pro-lifer, but mostly in silence. Sure I’d talk to certain people about it and vote pro-life, but after having recently found a link for a cause on Facebook called “Together we can end abortion”, I am now an active pro-lifer. The thing about this site that really caught my eye was that it allows anyone to join, view, and comment on all of the political topics as well as the individual stories being told. Many of the articles and personal experiences opened my eyes and I soon found myself in the WAR against abortion.

    The fight is on and I’m not backing down. “Sure,” you say, “you have so many friends.” But when I’d post a fact or story about the atrocities of abortion I’d only receive a few comments from those agreeing with me.

I’d like to share a story that I found on the Facebook page “Together we can end abortion.”

 “A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said:

'Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help! My baby is not even 1 year old and I'm pregnant again. I don't want kids so close together.'

So the doctor said: 'Ok and what do you want me to do?'

She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.'

The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady: 'I think I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you too.'

She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.

Then he continued: 'You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time, let's kill the one in your arms. This way, you could rest some before the other one is born. If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is. There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.'

The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child!'

'I agree', the doctor replied. 'But you seemed to be OK with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution.'

The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point.

He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb. The crime is the same!

Love says, “I sacrifice myself for the good of the other person.” Abortion says, “I sacrifice the other person for the good of myself.”

    Many people commented about this story, and needless to say opinions varied greatly. I then shared this story with my friends on Facebook and also received mixed reviews. One negative comment was from a young Catholic mother, whom I pleaded with and asked her, “After bringing the greatest gift into the world, life, why would you want other women to murder the life inside of them?” I pray for the men and women and yes even doctors who don’t acknowledge the difference between right and wrong.

The following is one description of the five steps of a partial birth abortion…

1. Guided by ultrasound, the abortionist grabs the baby’s legs with forceps.
2. The baby’s leg is pulled out into the birth canal.
3. The abortionist delivers the baby’s entire body, except for the head.
4. The abortionist jams scissors into the baby’s skull. The scissors are then opened to enlarge the skull.
5. The scissors are removed and a suction catheter is inserted. The child’s brains are sucked out, causing the skull to collapse. The dead baby is then removed.  

  How can we murder our own children?

    Unfortunately, there are organizations out there such as Planned Parenthood that spend millions upon millions of dollars trying to convince the American people that abortion is okay.

    When looking at an ultrasound do you not see a heartbeat, ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes?  Does this not mean it is human? What other species could it belong to when it is coming out of a female human being? A mutilated aborted baby is torn apart piece by piece. So if not born whole or brought out of the womb as a complete body, is it not considered human?

    Makes you wonder if anybody who is pro-choice or who works in an abortion clinic has kids? What do they call them? A failed abortion attempt? Is a fetus not the same thing inside a pro-life woman and a pro-choice woman? A sad truth is if a baby is wanted then it is considered a baby, if not it’s just a blob of tissues, cells and bones. So are we not humans outside our mother’s wombs? Are we not tissues, cells and bones? What makes us any different inside or out? Are we more special than those unborn that are inside the womb growing? As born humans we are continually growing older, growing physically, mentally and emotionally.

    I ask you, “Where are you? Why are you standing in the shadows? Why are you standing behind fear?” Yes, I too was doing exactly that until I realized this; that shadow, that fear, that darkness was the devil and he wants you to stay there. He wants you to hide away and not stand up, not to come out and speak the truth about abortion and speak the goodwill of God. I say it’s time to take a stand; it’s time to believe first in God and then second in you! Without both resolve and strength from God you are standing on the side of evil. It doesn’t have to be a huge step at first but a few small steps then you realize that you are gaining the courage God is giving you, the strength to continue, and the wisdom to know the difference between right and wrong.

    We need to not be silent like the unborn and aborted babies. They don’t have a choice in the matter, WE DO! We must speak for them in unison, crying out to our government and to God to stop this action from taking place. The sad truth is that as long as there is evil there will be abortion. But fighting for change, real change, can and will help save unborn babies’ lives by changing the minds of women who want to abort (for any reason) and politicians who believe that murder is right and just.

But we must not lose FAITH, we must BELIEVE.

    I look to the leaders of our nation, asking them to face the reality of abortion and choose the right, the right to life for all human life. Please contact our leaders and tell them that you can no longer allow the horrors of abortion to continue! STAND UP AND FIGHT!!! With God nothing is impossible! With God and your help we can end abortion forever.

All it takes for evil to prevail is for good men (and women) to do nothing and to stand silent.

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My Abortion Experience

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Abortion - The Truth

My Abortion Testimony - Never The Same

                                   Abortion Testimony of Kimberly Kay
                                                           Never The Same

I have written my testimony several times. I think the one item that I have always left out, was my feelings. I read my writings from time to time, and don't feel much emotion from them. I still have a difficult time processing my feelings.

I had my daughter at the age of 16. I was sexually active beginning at 15. I kept my pregnancy from my friends, family, and even my boyfriend. When it became apparent that I was pregnant, my mother asked me if I was. I knew that I had a baby growing inside of me, but my mind was playing tricks on me. I was 7 months along by that time. My mother was surprisingly pleasant about the situation. Actually it was the first and last time I ever felt close to her. My father was hurt, angry, and most of all embarrassed. He wanted me to abort the baby. My mom stood up for me and explained to him that I was to far along. He stopped speaking to me. I became a ghost in his presents. I was extremely sad during that time.

I developed pr-eclampsia in my eighth month. It was scary, and I felt awful. I went to work with my mother the day before I delivered. I rested in a storage room for most of the day, but when it was time to leave, it was apparent to my mom that I needed medical care. She took me to St. Joseph Hospital in Denver. My blood pressure was extremely high and I was dehydrated, so they admitted me. They determined by ultrasound that my baby was developed enough to be born. I labored all through that night and into the next. It was horrible, to say the least. My mom stayed with me the entire time. I had other family members come and go. I don't remember a lot of the events because they gave me pain medication during my labor. The doctor was getting ready to perform a c-section at the 23rd hour of labor. He came in to check me one last time and I was fully dilated. I delivered my daughter at 6:05 am on April 27, 1981. My daughter's bio-father came to the hospital to see her. We broke up just a few months after her birth. She hasn't seen or spoken to him since.

I married when my daughter was just 2 years old. He was a friend of a friend. He was into drugs and had a felony history. I think I was desperate to get out from under my mother ever so judgmental hand. My father was an alcoholic the entire time I knew him. I got pregnant with my second child shortly after the wedding. It was a time in my life that I am not proud of. Drugs and survival was my daily regiment. My mom took care of my daughter a lot. I gave birth to my son on July 7, 1983. My husband was not a very desirable guy. He was abusive to my daughter and me. He cheated with other woman, stay out until all hours of the night, and drank alcohol and did drugs. I finally got up the courage to get out and stay out of the marriage. It was an awful time. I was also 3 to 4 months pregnant. I hadn't told my husband that I was pregnant. Maybe I knew I wasn't going to keep it. I made a phone call to my mom, she asked me what I was going to do, I told her I didn't know what to do. I expressed that I couldn't imagine having another tie to such an asshole. She made an appointment and picked me up the next day. I don't even remember the name of the clinic or it's exact location. I can't even tell you what the abortionist looked like, let alone his name. My mom flipped the bill and we haven't discussed it since that day. I don't even remember the date, it make me sad that I don't know the date my baby died.

I was taken into a procedure room, and can only remember the awful sound of the suction machine and the voices of the nurse and abortionist. They seemed like  inanimate objects to me Nothing seemed real, not even myself. I can remember getting a glimpse of by baby through the fogginess of the medication. I try not to think about the image, but I can't seem to get it out of my mind either. It all seems like it happened yesterday. It was actually 30 years ago.

Soon after my divorce, I of coarse got involved with another man. Again drugs and alcohol was his main priority. He was abusive to my kids. I got pregnant and married him had the baby and had a tubal ligation to prevent anymore children. We divorced shortly after that. He abused my son and daughter to the point his brother saw the bruises and encouraged me to get away from him. I took his advise and took the kids to the police station and pressed charges. He did spend a few days in jail and got a slap on the hand. It was a very messy divorce.

My relationship with Jesus Christ was off and on. I could feel a pull towards God, but never truly let myself go to him. I went through the motions of excepting as my Lord and Savior, but I was just going through the motions. I defended my abortion for years. I would see the protesters up in Longmont and feel disgust towards them and their lying signs. They were the enemy, the lost ones, not me. Those pictures they held up so proudly disgusted me, not because of what I had done, but because they weren't real. I thought how dare they hold those lying signs in front of people and children. I didn't want my kids exposed to that kind of disgust. I thought those pro-life people were the enemy, they seemed hateful.

I vowed that I would never marry again. I then met a man that was wonderful with my kids. I think that's why I fell in love with him. I thought that we would grow old together, that didn't happen. After 17 years of marriage, he had a couple of extra-marital affairs. We split up and divorced. By this time my kids were grown and my daughter was blessed with a son. For the first time in my life, I was alone and not dependent on anyone. I was taking care of myself and for the most part I was happy.

I met a man and fell deeply in love with him. He told me that he was a christian, that scared me, but at the same time it also intrigued me. He wasn't like any christian I had been around. This guy was fundamental to the core. He made me face a ton of built up crap in my life. Not from his pressure but just from his presence. It said it like it was, no holds bar. He talked a lot about his faith, the bible, and about he had been saved through the blood of Jesus Christ. After a few months I got really sick and went to the doctor because I had some huge lumps in my breast. I was really scared and so was Scott. The doctor took some blood while I was in his office, my blood count was dangerously low. He asked me about my periods and I told him that I had always suffered through that time of the month with heavy bleeding, clots, and horrible pain. He decided to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound. He discovered that the lining was full of blood. I was diagnosed with endometriosis and dysmennorrehea. I was placed on birth control (four pills a day) and injection 3 times a week to stop the internal bleeding. I was placed on bed rest. I needed surgery but it was to risky with such a low blood clot. Since I was stable, my doctor let me stay home. I went in 2 times a day to check my count. It was improving and my doctor okay-ed me taking a weekend trip that Scott had planned for my birthday. He purposed and I was so excited. I eventually had a total abdominal hysterectomy. Scott and I got married and started living our new lives.  To be continued :)

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