Somewhere In The Middle

It was complete darkness with little glimpses of sparkling lights until we arrived somewhere in the middle. That's what the last two years have felt like while raising and fighting within the court system for our two granddaughters, Haylie and Brooklynn. The court battle is over, but we have along ways to go in the training department. We can now see where we are going and the road that will lead us.

Two years ago I didn't know these two little girls. I had seen Haylie on a few occasions, when she was born, when she was 6 weeks old, and then again at 9 months old. Brooklynn was born when Haylie was just fourteen months old. It was said from the beginning that Brooklynn was not my son's biological daughter. Sherry, my ex-daughter in-law, had a extra marital affair which produced Brooklynn. My son was convinced at times that Brook was his, and even if she wasn't, he loved her no less. I refused to get attached because I thought my relationship would be restricted by my son and his wife.

When Sherry and Josh broke the news to me that they were pregnant with their first daughter, I was less than excited, I was mortified for the child. My son can barely read or write and his speech is less understandable then most two year olds. He's not stupid by any means, just extremely lazy! Sherry is a very strange ex meth user who also suffered a traumatic head injury from a motor vehicle accident. She is not very bright but worst of all, she is not a nice person. Josh and Sherry did eventually marry, but didn't spend much time under the same roof. They would fight, one would move out and then later try it again, only to end up apart again. Sherry always had the girls in tote and went from state to state, family to family. She ended up in Utah with a man she met on the internet. Haylie was physically abuse, and Sherry was faced with leaving the boyfriend or giving up her children, she chose the boyfriend.

My son Joshua brought the girls to Colorado and resided at his grandparents house for approximately three week. One morning the grandparents got into a physical altercation and the grandfather attempted to strangle grandma with her oxygen tubing. Grandpa went to jail and Joshua brought the girls to Church service on a Wednesday evening. I have had the girls since that night. Initially our plan was for the girls to stay with Scott and I until Joshua could get settled in his own place. At that point I would help out with the girls in whatever way I could. That plan got changed when he met another woman with a little girl. Josh and his new girlfriend eventually got an apartment with the goal of taking the girls with them. I could see that there was more on the platter than neither adult could see for themselves, so the girls stayed with us. As expected that relationship dissolved and again Josh was homeless and jobless. I was so thankful that the girls did not have to endure another disruption to their short chaotic lives.

Without going into great detail about the incidences that occurred with Haylie and Brooklynn's parents since living with us, the police department advised us to file for custody, which we did the next day. The battle which followed was the most emotionally and financially draining experience of both Scott and I's lives to date. We realized the the honeymoon of our 2 year old marriage was over, and that we were in for the battle of a lifetime. We had no choice but to fight for these two little souls that would have a very undesirable future if we gave up on "our" fight. Believe me, at times I did throw up my arms and asked God for guidance and strength, and through my faith, I was able to stay strong and focused on the goal set before me. There were lots of frustration, anger, caution, and tears over the past two year, but I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel, thank God.

It is extremely difficult to fully give yourself away knowing that it can be taken from you in the next breath. I feel like I have been holding my breath for the past two year, and I can finally exhale, and it is a feeling I didn't know would ever be mine. I had an emotional guard up with the girls, hopefully not in a way that made them feel less loved or wanted. I fought with those emotions every second of everyday, an uncertainty that is more frightening than any other emotion I have experienced. A daily challenge to make it the best day I could, for it might be the last one I get. I know that sound extreme, but that is truly how I felt. Scott and I never talked about the what if...but I know we both thought a lot about it. The possibility of not having the girls and the uncertainty of their future without Papa and Grammie in control of it, was petrifying and at times debilitating.

All of that uncertainty ended on March 27, 2012. An offer came in the way of their mother Sherry's attorney. He contacted our attorney to make the final offer. Sherry would admit that Josh was Brooklynn's biological father, which would halt the paternity order, we would maintain residential custody and sole decision making for the girls. So in reality, she gave up the fight for them. That is sad and exciting all at the same time. Maybe she finally realized that she could not raise them or maybe the thought of being responsible for two little girls became a reality, one that she didn't want to sacrifice for her own selfish reasons. It's saddens me because they are worth it, every child is. It frustrates me that people are so selfish and unwilling to realize how much work it is to raise children. It frightens me that our situation happens more often then I want to imagine. Unwanted God created life, human children lost in the selfishness of this world. Gifts treated like garbage.

The two little girls have had a rough start in life, they have had people come in and out of their short lives. To be around them and to experience the love and need that oozes from their hearts, is purely the love and innocence of Jesus Christ. They rebound from every loss as though God is at the wheel and they have no  resistance towards his promise. To look into the eyes of an abused and neglected child and see nothing but love burning brightly, how can you doubt that God lives in us, for us?

The Bible declares in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 "In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." Don't look at the bad in things, but look at the good and you will always be content. I heard a person once say "If you constantly look at the people that are better off than you are, then you will never be satisfied in life, but if you look at the people that are not as fortunate as you are, then you will always be thankful for what you have."

I want you to be encouraged and remember the blessings in your life and keep in mind the words of the Apostle Paul written in 1 Timothy 6:6-8 "Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content."

We are past the crossroads and we only have one direction available, and that direction is forward! Thank you Lord and the glory be Yours!

Tim Tebow: Why Do We Love or Hate Him?

By Ishmael T. on January 9, 2012

OK, I know this is probably already the 100^th article, news blitz, opinion or blog you've read about the Denver Broncos’ Tim Tebow. Well, after watching one of the most exciting playoff games of my life and seeing the varied reactions from fans and foes, I had to chime in.

I began to wonder why people either love or hate Tim Tebow. On one end of the spectrum, you have Bill Maher crucifying him on Twitter, and on the other end you have students Tebowing in public and putting it on YouTube.

There are many people who see him as a fraud and others who think he is the greatest person to walk the earth—OK, second greatest. No matter what you think, no one is indifferent.

But what is it that makes him so polarizing?

Even when the question is posed to him, he answers humbly, reiterating that he only focuses on what he can change and does not try to please the critics.

It seems like Tebow’s PDF (Public Display of Faith) is what has so many people hot and bothered. We don’t hear this much stir about celebrities who flaunt their sexual orientation. But Tebow’s PDF is crossing the line?

Tebow is like going to Best Buy and seeing a black-and-white television on the sale rack. Society is not used to seeing his kind. If the year were 1952, his praying after a touchdown would not be such a big deal.

But America was different back then too. America had many flaws in the 50s and 60s, but the overall moral code was a lot different. Things that were considered taboo are now widely accepted. And many things were not condoned in public, but faith wasn’t one of them.

With today’s technology, a bad joke, a foul opinion, is just a tweet away. What used to be reserved for water cooler talk is able to be shared with the world within moments. This fact has spawned a firestorm of comments and debate about Tebow, some on his technique, but most on his beliefs.

Whether you believe the way he does or not, we should respect the fact that he is within his rights to display his faith, rather than referring to him as a menace. We also cannot over-dramatize his abilities. The Broncos’ defense and kicker deserve equal credit for Denver's success this season.

The bottom line: Tebow is a decent football player with amazing character. And if that makes us uncomfortable, we can always watch hockey.

Coping With Rejection

Will I experience rejection after I become a Christian?

Yes - the Bible teaches that as a Christian, you will be rejected and persecuted by the world. Our example, Jesus Christ, was rejected by many during His time here on earth. He was rejected by:

His family (John 7:3-5; 1 Cor. 15:7).

His neighbors and friends (Mark 6:1-6).

The religious leaders (Matthew 12:14; Matthew 23).

His own people, the Jews (John 8:48-59).

His disciples (John 6:53-66; Matthew 26:56).

Sharing Christ’s Suffering. Jesus taught His followers that they would be rejected just as He himself was rejected (Matthew 10:24,25; John 15:18-21).

What are some general principles for coping with rejection?

Understand the true nature of rejection. Often the rejection that comes from believing in Christ is of a very personal nature. It feels as though you are being rejected for who you are as a person and it can be very painful. But it’s important to remember that ultimately it is Christ they are rejecting. You are being rejected only because you have chosen to follow Him (John 15:19; Acts 7:51-60). Remember what Ephesians 6:11-12 says—our real enemy is Satan.

Recognize you are not alone. Rejection can leave you feeling very isolated. But you should be aware of the fact that you are not the only one who has experienced rejection. As you have seen above, Jesus went through the same kind of pain. Notice what He said you should keep in mind when being rejected (Matthew 5:12). God will be with you (Hebrews 13:5). There is comfort in knowing that no matter how many others may reject you, God will never leave you.

Keep the goal in sight. The verse you just read gives another principle for coping with rejection

- remember your reward! (Matthew 5:11-12; 19:27-30; Luke 6:35; Philippians 3:8). God has promised to reward those who are faithful in spite of rejection and persecution (Hebrews 11:24-26). Also, remember what you were saved from (Matthew 16:24-26). The road to eternal life may be difficult, but the alternative is eternal death.

Pray for those who reject you (Matthew 5:44). Our attitudes and actions should imitate Christ. His own example was that he prayed for those who were killing him (Luke 23:34).

Find acceptance and friendship with your new family. As a Christian, you have a new family—the Church. Notice what Jesus said in Matthew 12:46-50. The church has a responsibility to reach out to new believers and befriend them. As a new convert, you should show yourself friendly and respond when people extend friendship in your direction.

What should I do if my spouse rejects me?

1 Corinthians 7:10-16 and 1 Peter 3:1-2 give advice on how you should handle being rejected by a spouse:

 If the unbelieving spouse rejects you completely and wants to leave the marriage, let them leave. If they remain unmarried, your desire should be for their salvation and for the restoration of your marriage relationship. If they marry someone else, you are no longer bound to them.

If the unbelieving spouse is willing to live with you, remain with them. God does not want you to divorce your spouse simply because you are now a Christian. Be willing to endure persecution from them with a Christ-like attitude.

As you remain in the relationship, live in such a way that your conduct will witness to them and they may be won without a word being spoken.

In extreme cases where the physical safety of your life/body may be threatened, separate from your spouse but do not pursue other relationships (1 Corinthians 6:19). Your prayer should be for their salvation and for the restoration of your marriage relationship.

What should I do if my family/parents reject me?

If you are young and still living under your parent’s care, you should remain submissive to them and show them respect in spite of their rejection. Be mighty through God in prayer. Many of the principles we looked at in the case of a rejecting spouse can also apply for rejecting parents (e.g. live in such a way that your good behavior is a witness to them).

If you have a family of your own, you may find it necessary to create boundaries to protect yourself and your children. Many times you may discover unbelieving grandparents encouraging your children to do things you forbid or being a bad influence on them (either by lifestyle or speech). In such cases you should be as kind and respectful as you can while still maintaining your own standards.

What should I do if my friends reject me?

In some cases such rejection may be a good thing (because those friends would only be a bad influence—1 Corinthians 15:33). Indeed, some friends may need to be rejected by you as their friendship can only lead to trouble (1 Peter 4:3-5).

If some of your friends respect your faith in Christ, you should remain friends with them and seek to win them to Christ. Prayer is your best weapon here; be firm but sensitive to when they need space/time to think about what you have said.

Turn to the church. As a Christian, you have a new family in the church. It is your responsibility to involve yourself as much as possible in the many activities available. Show yourself friendly.

Boyfriend/girlfriend (2 Corinthians 6:14). You may find yourself in a position where you have been saved but the person you are dating is still a sinner. In such a case, I advise you to be truthful and straightforward about the change in your life. It may be that you will win them to Christ. If they reject Christ and tell you that they will not continue the relationship unless you

give up your faith, you must be ready to break off the relationship. This can be a very difficult and painful experience. But remember, God will reward you for putting Him above all others!

What is going on in the minds of those who reject me?

It is helpful to understand what is going on in the minds of those who reject you. Often you are so focused on how you are being treated that you are unaware of how your faith affects others. Consider this:

 
Conviction. The change in the heart and life of a new convert is a tremendous source of conviction to their friends and family. Most sinners have some awareness that what they are doing is wrong. Your life serves to amplify this awareness and intensify their feelings of guilt. In a sense, you are making them miserable (actually it is their own stubbornness and rebellion but they will see you as the root case) (2 Corinthians 2:15,16).

Light provokes sin. The Bible teaches that when light and truth are focused on the sinful heart, it provokes more sin (Romans 7:8). Your good example will serve to inspire sin in those rejecting you so don’t be surprised if they become even worse than they were.

 
Justification. Sinners are constantly trying to justify their attitudes and actions to themselves and others in an attempt to ward off the feelings of guilt they have for their sin. You may find them trying to justify themselves to you.

Persecution. Many times the one rejecting you may persecute you hoping you will respond in kind—if you do, it will make them feel better to know you are really no different than they are. If you don’t, you will convict them all the more.

© 2009 Nathan E. Brown

Put on the Full Armor of God

I just had a wonderful discussion with a friend. So uplifting to know that there are good people with huge hearts among us. In today's life struggles it's so easy to find ourselves in a whirlwind of overwhelming negativity. Sometimes it becomes difficult to hold up the shield that comes with our full armor of God.



Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. (Eph 6:13)



Sometimes life itself becomes so incredible heavy that it's difficult to hold ourselves up, let alone the ones that depend on us to be strong. I am surrounded by an amazing circle of friends and I am always grateful to feel that little tap on my shoulder and hearing, "hey, I'm here and I got your back". What's even my comforting is the feeling of God tightly holding onto my hand, and knowing that He will never let go. Sometimes when I struggle to keep my head above water, two little munchkins will look up at me and say, "Grammy, I love you so much" and "Grammy I want you", while holding out her arms for a hug. The best part is having two little beings snuggled up to you with blankies in tow, as you caress their hair and become overwhelmed with gratitude that the Lord has chosen you to love and guide these little creations through a very difficult world. Glory to Him! Even when others are using evil words and threatening the safety of the ones you are protecting, God is there. He holds you up and sometimes He squeezes your hand, sends someone to whisper in your ear, or sends a friend to your door. How amazing is that? He always rescues, not by making you feel dependent on your own inadequacy's, but by His faith and His love for each of us and hope for the future and strength in His word.

So...what exactly is the full armor of God?" It is the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes of readiness and peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit.

When a country gets ready for battle (usually) they go with the right equipment and the best there is. You would not send a soldier to fight in a jungle wearing swimming trunks and carrying a water pistol. How can expect to "repel" Satan wearing flip flops and toting a missalette?

The FULL armor of God is sparked by prayer. The soldier's belt is equipped with tool (knife, holster, pistol, extra magazines, hand grenades) and is securely fastened at his waist - easily accessible. It is the foundation of all the equipment used in battle. Jesus is our foundation when we stand against Satan. The breastplate is similar to a bulletproof vest (only not nearly as lightweight as today's Kevlar vests). Remembering that our own efforts and good works will not protect us, we must make our focus on the cross - the righteousness we seek is found in Christ. Our preparation for battle must also the Gospel - the life, death and resurrection of Jesus brought us peace with God. This redemption allows us to fight with boldness, perseverance and peace! The shield - which was generally used as protection and when overlapped one with another, could form a "wall" of protection against the enemy. It also would protect them from flaming arrows shot into the air - we cannot rely on our own abilities in this battle against Satan - by Christ alone are we protected. Our helmet is the source of total deliverance - Jesus IS our deliverance! The sword is the Word of God - it is a powerful tool when used against the enemy and under the direction of the Spirit it has great power.

In all of that, we see that Jesus is our armor! He is our truth, our righteousness, our preparation and peace, the focus of our faith, and he IS the Word of God!

My friends, we are already at war, fighting an enemy who is crafty and clever. Without the protection and guidance of Jesus, we are doomed to fail. You may not have been called to fight at this point in your life, but the time will come and you must be prepared. Start shining up that armor so that when your turn to do battle when the enemy arises, you will already have on the full armor of God!

Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:21)

They Say I Shouldn't Be Allowed To Live

by Carrie Holland Fischer on November 4, 2012

I was out shopping one day and overheard a conversation that made me all the more determined to stand up for the right to life. The conversation was about taxpayer dollars and abortion. As I listened. I realized that I was the subject and my right to life was being questioned. A lady was talking about how “people like me” were a burden on society and how I was the reason abortion existed. “If people like me” were aborted, then taxpayers dollars wouldn’t be wasted and spent on having to “take care of us.” There would be more money for other people and programs. I could feel the anger rising on the inside of me. “People like me?!!” I turned and asked. “Are you saying that just because I was born a certain way that I shouldn’t have been allowed to live? She looked at me and then started talking about how “people like me” couldn’t possibly have a happy or fulfilling life. We would never have a successful, quality life anyway. What was the purpose for us being born? By this time I was really angry and wanted to get in her face. Why shouldn’t I be allowed to live? Because I look different? What about those who were conceived in rape or incest? Do they not have the right to live? The lady looked at me and asked, “Do you really think it’s fair to let them live, knowing the hardships they will face? Can you imagine the teasing and bullying they will have to endure?” I do understand, because I went through that for most of my life. I was teased constantly by my peers, and even by my teachers. The lady stood firm in her belief that “people like me” were better off aborted. I stood by my belief that everyone should have the right to life. Who was this lady to judge me? Who was she to decide who should live or die? How did she know what kind of life I would have? Before she walked away, I told her. “One day you’re going to get old and it’ll be my tax dollars paying your Medicaid or Medicare. What if I were to consider you a waste of my money? What if I were to say you are old and no good, you should be dead? Think about that next time you want to criticize and complain about “people like me.” The lady looked at me and walked away.