TRUTH revealed: ABORTION HURTS WOMEN

 by Darlene Wood-Harvey

I am speaking to you today because ABORTION HURTS WOMEN. It’s taken me over 34 years to be healed, strong and brave enough to share my story.

In 1973, as a 22-year-old, naïve and unsuspecting college girl, a long way from home. I hung out with nice, but amoral people who drank alcohol and were involved in pre-marital sex. I went along with the crowd and the consequences were my getting pregnant, although I didn’t know it at the time. I was too proud and independent to ask my family for help. I ended up at a "free" Planned Parenthood clinic (PP). They did a test and told me it was "positive." PP told me "it" was “only a blob of tissue” which could easily be removed for $200 (cash).

Physical Cost of Abortion

When I arrived for the “procedure,” the man entered the room and said something about giving me a shot and that I would hear a sound like a vacuum. He did NOT tell me about the horrible cramping and pain I would experience. I was awake through the procedure and experienced excruciating pain. I was crying and did not understand what was happening. I’ll never forget the pain and the noises coming from the tubes going out of my body. Everything went silent. The "doctor" turned away as he said I could rest a few minutes and leave by the back door. Immediately after the abortion, I felt nauseous, had sharp pains, experienced a lot of bleeding and weakness-too sick to sit. I was traumatized. This was my first gynecological experience. To this day I have trouble going to see a gynecologist.

The Cost of Infertility

During the following months, I STILL experienced severe pain and bleeding. I did not trust Planned Parenthood, so I went to a doctor who told me what the "procedure" was…an abortion! He also told me that PP had put an IUD inside me WITHOUT my knowledge or consent! I felt violated, betrayed and angry! I demanded the IUD to be removed, which was very painful. The doctor said the tissue damage and scarring in my uterine lining from the abortion and IUD may cause me to be childless. Planned Parenthood’s abortionist killed my only child and I am childless.

Emotional Cost of Abortion

At this point, I hated myself. I made bad decisions for my life. Nightmares filled my life. I became a workaholic and a near alcoholic. About three years after the abortion, I suffered from low self-esteem, physical pain and many other symptoms including panic attacks, short-term memory loss, debilitating fatigue, isolation and suicidal depression. I thought I was going crazy! I saw a psychiatrist. He told me I wasn’t crazy, but that I was suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome. The hell and reality of remembering the abortion started in the early 1990’s and continued until March 2008. Abortion cost me my womanhood.

The Cost to Women's Lives

Thank you Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I am now forgiven and set free and active in helping other women to NOT make the same mistake I made! The most important thing about abortion that I think people need to know is that abortion is not the answer to problems. Abortion creates problems. Women need to SEE and HEAR THE TRUTH ABOUT the destruction of ABORTION and how it kills their unborn children. Women need love. Abortion destroyed what made me a woman. Abortion wreaks havoc on women’s lives - it is NOT a safety net, but a HEALTH HAZARD!

Conclusion

I regret my abortion. Women deserve better than lies – they need Truth. With God’s help, I’ll defend TRUTH. I choose both the woman and her baby whose heart is beating at four weeks! I AM SILENT NO MORE. Thanks be to God - there is help and hope for hurting post-abortive men, women, and families through His Grace and Mercy.

 Immediate Help Here

Addiction and Evil Spirits

When we talk about addiction, we need to cover all aspects of it as well as the spiritual side concerning how evil spirits may influence our addiction. Now I want to be careful and to just give you the facts because you have probably heard the expression "The devil made me do it", well the devil cannot make anyone do anything, and the most he can do is tempt us and then take advantage of us should we take the bait. When we practice an addiction long or often enough an evil spirit may get power and control over us simply because we are feeding its lusts through us, and it then receives spiritual rights to be involved in our life due to our actions. When we practice an addiction it is always progressive so the more we feed it, the stronger it will get.

I want to make sure that you understand that we are not talking about the Exorcist here, and you will most likely not be fully taken over by a spirit where you have no control over what you do. But spirits can oppress you and push you to gratify their lusts through you to the point that it can be almost maddening. A spirit gets attached to you and just wants to feel the addiction it craves flowing through your body. Plus demons get more power and authority with the more humans it destroys, so for them it is a win-win situation. For you, it just becomes an obsession and slavery to an addiction that seems impossible to get rid of. Each spirit has it's own character like the spirit of addiction, or the spirit of pornography, or smoking. Its name is its nature.

Now, before you freak out I just want you to know that you can be free from the power of evil spirits of addiction. One way is to take away it's landing strip by healing the old emotional pain and eliminating the need for the pain relievers, another way is to starve the spirit out by simply refusing to practice the addiction. The third way is by having someone pray for you to be set free from these spirits or by praying for yourself. It may help to fast a little before you clean your spiritual house so to speak, but it is not a requirement. If the spirit has gotten a strong hold on you it may take a few strong believers to lay hands on you and drive the thing out. This can be quite an experience, but the spirit is just a spiritual infestation that needs to be evicted.

MK 16:17 And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues;

The way that evil spirits are driven out and away from a human is by the power of the name of Jesus Christ and faith. Demons are like spiritual cockroaches and they are attracted to the garbage of our sin. God gave Jesus full authority over all evil spirits, so when we use His name to drive them out then we have the legal right to evict them. But you must do this in faith and believe that God will help you. After I had been involved with heavy addiction for so long the Lord led me to go through a deliverance from demons. It wasn't pretty or fun to undergo, but it was necessary. You wouldn't leave cancer in your body, so neither should you leave the spiritual cancer of evil spirits in your life pushing you to return to your sin. Just pray for God to show you the right time for a deliverance session and He will help you. God will set you free.


LK 11:24 (Jesus speaking) "When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, `I will return to the house I left.' 25 When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. 26 Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first."



Also, be sure that you really want to be free from your addiction before you try to evict anything that may be driving your obsession. Otherwise you may be in even a worse situation with evil spirits than before. Remember, you have the ability to say no to anything. If you went to church and someone told you to take off your clothes would you? No you wouldn't, because you would just refuse. Nobody can force you to do anything, the choice has been yours all along. Likewise, nobody can force you to practice addiction, it has been your choice as well, but usually there does need to be some healing to get rid of the old unhealed pain, and there may need to be some deliverance from evil spirits for you to truly get free from the inside out. God will help you with everything at the right time, so trust Him to deliver you from evil spirits.



Here is a prayer you can pray for yourself or others to get rid of all evil spirits;


"Lord God, I repent of my sin that has allowed any evil spirit to have power over me in any way, and I renounce any and all sin that I have ever committed that has attracted any demonic activity in my life. Now in the name of Jesus Christ, I command any and all evil spirits to be bound and to be banished from my life forever. I apply the blood of Jesus Christ upon my body, spirit, soul, and mind, and also upon my home and everything in it. I thank you Lord Jesus for setting me free from the power of evil spirits, and I ask that you would now fill me afresh with your Holy Spirit. In Jesus name I pray, amen".



* NOTE; It also may help to get extra assistance from a fellow Christian that you know deals with deliverance ministry. Also it will help to get rid of anything in the house that has been connected to your addiction, because it is a landing strip (a volition of will) for them the spirits to return. Below is a guide that lists the different stages of spiritual bondage.



A person can deliver self from the following:

Regression . . . going backward in spiritual growth and power.Repression . . . fear, ignorance, or indifference keep knowledge of demons hidden. Satan steals your joy. (Within).Suppression . . . listless, inactive, disinterested. Suppression of feelings. (Without).Depression . . . broken spirit . . . inactivity.Oppression . . . weigh you down with something you are not able to carry. Disease is a weapon of oppression.


At this stage the person will need help from another with deliverance:



Obsession . . . changes the mind (black is white, straight is crooked). Comes through believing a lie, jealousy, hatred. No will power.Possession . . . no mind of your own. Seen often as insanity.

More scriptures to help you;


LK 4:33 In the synagogue (This was someone who went to church) there was a man possessed by a demon, an evil spirit. He cried out at the top of his voice, 34 "Ha! What do you want with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are--the Holy One of God!"

LK 4:35 "Be quiet!" Jesus said sternly. "Come out of him!" Then the demon threw the man down before them all and came out without injuring him.

LK 4:36 All the people were amazed and said to each other, "What is this teaching? With authority and power he gives orders to evil spirits and they come out!" 37 And the news about him spread throughout the surrounding area.


MK 9:23 " `If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."

MK 9:24 Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"

MK 9:25 When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the evil spirit. "You deaf and mute spirit," he said, "I command you, come out of him and never enter him again."

MK 9:26 The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, "He's dead." 27 But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up.

How Does Satan Attack Churches?

To set the foundation, in answer to our question, we must define who the enemy really is and his tactics. First of all, the enemy is Satan, the fallen angel who wanted to take away God’s Glory. Secondly, after Satan was punished and cast to the earth, he set out to destroy God’s glory through Adam and Eve. Satan deceived Eve, and Adam fell into sin. Satan is described in John 8:44, "Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it."

Likewise, the book of Revelation 12:9 says, "And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him." From these two verses, we find the essence of who Satan is, and also his tactics, that he deceives, distracts and divides the church. This is the way Satan attacked churches in the New Testament and still today.

The first tactic that Satan uses is deception. This plan of Satan goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden. The word means to "T

take aside, to ensnare" (American Dictionary of the English Language Noah Webster, 1828.) John writes in Revelation 20:3, "And cast him into the bottomless pit, and shut him up, and set a seal upon him, that he should deceive the nations no more, till the thousand years should be fulfilled: and after that he must be loosed a little season." The deception spoken of here continues up to the Thousand Year Reign of Christ.

Satan’s deception is a primary goal. Satan deceived the church as illustrated in Romans 1:25, "Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator..." Satan got the Church of the New Testament to get away from truth, as Jesus said, that devil was the father of lies.

We see this deception illustrated in Peter’s life. Peter got mixed up over circumcision and salvation, and meats sacrificed to idols. Much of all the epistles in the Bible are correcting bad doctrine that derived from deception. Today we see the church deceived from the truth of the effectiveness of the Bible in society, the clarity of the Gospel, the worship of entertainment verses the love of the Truth.

The second tactic that Satan uses is that he distracts the churches. After Satan deceives, then he distracts the church. We see this in the book of Corinthians. The people got wrapped up in who they were to follow, as see in 1 Corinthians 1:12-13, "Now this I say, that every one of you saith, I am of Paul; and I of Apollos; and I of Cephas; and I of Christ. Is Christ divided? was Paul crucified for you? or were ye baptized in the name of Paul?" Both I and II Corinthians deals with one distraction after another, whether it was tongues, or the seats at church, or the Lord’s Supper which all seemly distracted the church of Jesus Christ.

When Satan effectively deceives and distracts he renders God’s army ineffective. As he did in the books of Corinthians, and in 2 Timothy 2:26 the Word of God states, "And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will." I have observed over the years that Christians are backsliding from the Lord at alarming rates. When only about 40 percent of those who are born again go to church, and of those 40 percent, only about 10-20 percent of those actually gives of their Time, Talents, and Treasure in the ministry or the battle for the Lord to win the lost. It is evident that Satan is having a hay day with Christians.

Don’t get me wrong. Satan surely is deceiving the unsaved, but honestly, he really already has them. Christians belong to the Heavenly Father. Satan’s attack on God’s people is his priority because he renders good Christian soldiers ineffective in the battle, which is waged against God. S

Satan roams this earth laughing at his victory over us as Christians, not really seeking to kill us, but just to wound us. You may ask like I did, "Is this really true?" Let me illustrate. A captain of an army once said, "that he would much rather wound an enemy than kill them." That puzzled me, but his explanation made a lot of sense. He said, "If you wound a solider, then three soldiers are actually taken out of the battle because there is the one that is wounded, and then there are the two other soldiers who have to carry and care for the wounded." Satan is working hard on God’s few soldiers that he has to render us unfit for battle, wounding us and getting us out of the real battle, which is reaching the lost and glorifying our Heavenly Father. Much of ministry is caring for the wounded in the church who has been deceived and distracted from the real battle.

Lastly and consequently, Satan’s tactic is to divide. Everyone knows that the strong army must unite. As we saw illustrated in the Corinthian church, the divisions were rampant. "For first of all, when ye come together in the church, I hear that there be divisions among you; and I partly believe it" (1 Corinthians 11:18). Likewise, in Galatians 1:6-7: "I marvel that ye are so soon removed from him that called you into the grace of Christ unto another gospel: Which is not another; but there be some that trouble you, and would pervert the gospel of Christ."

Satan’s tactic of dividing the church in the New Testament over issues that were non-essentials was effective in side tracking the church. Divisions get us fighting ourselves, rather than focusing on Satan and his powers. He divided the church over communion, widows, meats, and over anything he could, so the attention was not given to him. Satan still does this same tactic today. The church today is distracted by numbers in pews, rather than lives for Christ, doctrinal polity, worship wars, generational differences, and scores of other things.

In conclusion, Satan has no new tricks; he deceives, distracts, and divides God’s people. We need to be aware and see these tactics from Satan in our churches, and make sure that they are not evident. We need to get in the real battle, to win souls and glorifying the great Saviour.

Jerry W. Beaver

Testimony of Mary B.

Dear Friends, I really Don`t know how to start my life story. It will not be on my own strength but by God`s grace I can be able to share my life story. When I was a little child I could still remember that me and my younger sister we used to play with the german kids our neighbor. I used to dream to be married with a blue eyes foreigner and to have a baby blue eyes oneday. I came from a broken family. My father was an alcoholic and drug addicted and he used to hurt my mother physically. He is irresponsible so my mother left us when I was about 2 and half yrs old. She worked in Kuwait as a domestic helper for years ans she never came back for us since then. It`s so hard growing up without mother on your side when you needed her most. When I feel like giving up and no one to help you. My grandparents took care of us. I love my grandmother for not giving us away but my grandfather was not good to us. He started to harassed me in the middle of the night, I was 13 yrs old then. It took years he kept doing this stupid things to me. I was so scared and his footsteps makes me panic. he wanted to rape me even he has a mild stroke when I was at the age of 15 but I run out of the house to stay away from his malicious touch an thoughts. Then that was the time I learned how to smoke cigarettes and get drunk with my friends. It is the only way I could forget the fears I felt inside. I kept my grades high at the same time during my highschool life and pretending I was okay. I became rebellious. I met bad a pastor through a friend.i was looking for a father`s love but he twisted the bible meanings that sex is a relation or communion with God between him and God. He took my virginity when I was 16 and he promised to help me with my studies and school fees.. But that was all big lies. Later I realized i was not the only the victim he victimized sexually abused minor age girls at the church also including me. He accused me that I`m making a story and that I am a lier. No one believes on me. I am so confused and hurt so much, so I took all of his medicines to end up my life that way but i survived and some of my friends at the church abandoned me and they told me things like that I am going insane. I am so downhearted and asked God so many questions why life is so hard. where is the love?... I accept Christ that time but still I have hatred in my heart and no peace. I worked as a masseuse and done bad things just to support myself and to help my grandma to buy food for our hungry stomachs... We don`t have a permanent house. We used to transfer a lot from another house to another house for years while growing up and been sleep in the sidewalk box wooden wheel house so that we could have a place to stay. I grabbed the opportunity to work as a dancer in Kora but I end up as a dancer, It`s a human trafficking that exploits woman as a paid sex worker. I got no choice when I got there and just do the work because my grandma needs my help. She was in many debts and we need to buy a lot to have our house of our own. I experienced date raped, sexually active, I went onto several failed relationships and I got pregnant with a german customer who forced me to have sex with him. I couldn`t believed that I was pregnant holding the pregnancy test. I was shocked. I tried to call the father of my baby. He denied the baby and told me hurtful things... and I cried so loudly thinking he would help me and instead he said to me that he wanted to abort our baby. I went to his apartment but but he never showed his face to me again. I was totally devastated. I feel all alone. Don`t know what to do. I bought some doses of aspirins thinking that it was just a blood or I am just delayed. I can`t sleep, crying every night silently. I used to get myself drunk all the time. So I took the adviced of some of the girls at the club to have abortion. I was lying at the bed hospital for hours. quiet. My heart is full of anger and so much hate inside. Then, the nurse took me inside the abortion clinic. She injected something on me for me to sleep. I felt dizzy for awhile but I am still awake. I could feel the instruments they inserted on me, I panic for they taking away my 39 days baby inside my womb. I said in a whisper to stop it but it was too late. I lost her because of my stupidity and fears... I am so bad.. My baby was gone. It`s almost 8 years ago but still the pain and shame of what I`ve done to her still hurts me. I hate myself so much and I`ve tried to hurt myself often by punching my legs, banging my head on the wall, throwing things to let my heartaches and let my tears flow out when I am alone in the room. It breaks not only my heart but my soul. I am thinking that I am not deserving to be loved or to live but deserve to die and go to hell. I fall inlove and had some relationships but they all abandoned me because of this and my past sins. I feel unlove, unworthy, rejected. Inferior and lonely. I could feel she was a girl and I named my baby "Samara"... I know she is in heaven now with the loving arms of Jesus. Jesus embracing her so dearly. When I imagined about her, I am thinking she has a beautiful blue eyes and cute. If only I have a time machine, If only I could turn back time and make things right... I know it will take time or years before I experience the complete healing from abortion and from all the bad memories. It`s only by the grace of God that gives me hopes everyday of my life. His unconditional loves for me gives me strength to live the life to the fullest by trusting Him to set me free from all the bondages of sins that prisoned me for so long... I just like like to thank God for His goodness and mercy and that I come up with this helpful group that welcomes me so dearly and with love.... Thank you very much..... God bless us all.....

An Imagined Conversation Between God and a “Good Person”

By Bob Van Zandt 02/28/2012 19:31:00

The Good Person: WOW! All this time I didn’t think you were real… My bad. but I was a “good person”, so I guess it’s all good, right

God: No, it’s not “all good”

The Good Person: HA HA, I know you’re kidding… I mean it’s not like I was Hitler or anything, I was a good person, and went out of my way to help… most of the time.

God: I’m not laughing .. in fact your rejection of me makes me extremely sad.



The Good Person: Okay, Okay… I’m sorry.. But come on.. I went to Church.

God: You went a few times, but never invited me into your heart … By the way: your Aunt Nancy, the one who I brought home last year… the one who tried to open your heart to me… she says hello.. She’s hangs out in my Throne Room with me every day.

The Good Person: Aunt Nancy? The weird Jesus Freak? Ah, she was so annoying… Always wanting me to pray with her… Come on, you have to admit, she was just a little weird, right?

God: Excuse me! I happen to love her passion about the gift of my Son… You know, I sent Him to die for everyone… this included YOU. This was MY SON… MY ONLY SON… I sent Him to suffer FOR YOU. I sent Him to endure the most painful death imaginable, FOR YOU. And yet, you rejected every single invitation.

The Good Person: I was just joking, you know that… you’re God, right?

God: I am God. A reality you clearly rejected until you met me face to face. And, I know your heart… I know what you call “a joke” was really an attempt to justify your rejection of Me.

The Good Person: So I messed up… OK, I’m sorry… Don’t you forgive people like me?

God: I gave you every resource imaginable to accept the gift of my Son while you were alive, but you rejected Him… You rejected the Cross….
I gave you my Word, the Bible, the ultimate instruction manual, and you choose to listen only to those who would try to disprove it — but never could.
I told you how I created everything, but you choose to place more faith in coming from nothing, a “big bang”… I mean seriously… you thought you came from NOTHING?
You tried to publicly undermine the significance of MY SON by repeatedly demeaning my followers by referring to them as “freaks” or “holy rollers” and a whole host of other names.
You always knew in your heart that there was a something more to life, but you never thought I was important enough to seek out.
I told you through your Aunt Nancy to give up the ways of the world — they would lead to nowhere, but you laughed at her and chose to embrace worldly behaviors, without reservation…. and I know about each one of them.
You supported causes that rejected me, and then you turned around and cursed, mocked and blamed me when things didn’t work out.
…. unfortunately, you became your own god, of yourself…..
The Good Person: So what now?

God: I’m sorry, I don’t know you.

Put on the Full Armor of God

I just had a wonderful discussion with a friend. So uplifting to know that there are good people with huge hearts among us. In today's life struggles it's so easy to find ourselves in a whirlwind of overwhelming negativity. Sometimes it becomes difficult to hold up the shield that comes with our full armor of God.



Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. (Eph 6:13)



Sometimes life itself becomes so incredible heavy that it's difficult to hold ourselves up, let alone the ones that depend on us to be strong. I am surrounded by an amazing circle of friends and I am always grateful to feel that little tap on my shoulder and hearing, "hey, I'm here and I got your back". What's even my comforting is the feeling of God tightly holding onto my hand, and knowing that He will never let go. Sometimes when I struggle to keep my head above water, two little munchkins will look up at me and say, "Grammy, I love you so much" and "Grammy I want you", while holding out her arms for a hug. The best part is having two little beings snuggled up to you with blankies in tow, as you caress their hair and become overwhelmed with gratitude that the Lord has chosen you to love and guide these little creations through a very difficult world. Glory to Him! Even when others are using evil words and threatening the safety of the ones you are protecting, God is there. He holds you up and sometimes He squeezes your hand, sends someone to whisper in your ear, or sends a friend to your door. How amazing is that? He always rescues, not by making you feel dependent on your own inadequacy's, but by His faith and His love for each of us and hope for the future and strength in His word.

So...what exactly is the full armor of God?" It is the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes of readiness and peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit.

When a country gets ready for battle (usually) they go with the right equipment and the best there is. You would not send a soldier to fight in a jungle wearing swimming trunks and carrying a water pistol. How can expect to "repel" Satan wearing flip flops and toting a missalette?

The FULL armor of God is sparked by prayer. The soldier's belt is equipped with tool (knife, holster, pistol, extra magazines, hand grenades) and is securely fastened at his waist - easily accessible. It is the foundation of all the equipment used in battle. Jesus is our foundation when we stand against Satan. The breastplate is similar to a bulletproof vest (only not nearly as lightweight as today's Kevlar vests). Remembering that our own efforts and good works will not protect us, we must make our focus on the cross - the righteousness we seek is found in Christ. Our preparation for battle must also the Gospel - the life, death and resurrection of Jesus brought us peace with God. This redemption allows us to fight with boldness, perseverance and peace! The shield - which was generally used as protection and when overlapped one with another, could form a "wall" of protection against the enemy. It also would protect them from flaming arrows shot into the air - we cannot rely on our own abilities in this battle against Satan - by Christ alone are we protected. Our helmet is the source of total deliverance - Jesus IS our deliverance! The sword is the Word of God - it is a powerful tool when used against the enemy and under the direction of the Spirit it has great power.

In all of that, we see that Jesus is our armor! He is our truth, our righteousness, our preparation and peace, the focus of our faith, and he IS the Word of God!

My friends, we are already at war, fighting an enemy who is crafty and clever. Without the protection and guidance of Jesus, we are doomed to fail. You may not have been called to fight at this point in your life, but the time will come and you must be prepared. Start shining up that armor so that when your turn to do battle when the enemy arises, you will already have on the full armor of God!

Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:21)

Testimony of Jill D.

This is just part of my testimony that I posted on an athiest blog yesterday in response to this statement: "Thus it is: a fetus cannot think or feel. So how is it wrong to kill one?" I wanted them to know how the abortion made me think and feel, and the fact that I was not a Chirstian at the time, so it was not my "religion" convicting me as they like to claim. Although I know now that what I had done was a sin, and that God was convicting me. I just couldn't see it at the time...

Well when is it ever wrong to kill someone who can not think or feel as you think they should in order to have the right to live? Who is the "great decider" of life? Does it change with the administrations? Why do you want to keep women in fear of giving birth? Why have you made childbirth so ugly ("forced labor") and make it seem as if it's a condition so unwanted that women feel they are left with no other choice but to abort out of fear? This ideal has robbed women of the true beauty of childbirth. A beautiful gift that only us women have, and only we can give. The fact that you want to keep women in a place of self-hate and pain is ignorant. True freedom and empowerment comes from being who we were created to be. It's about having the resources and support we need to act as women, not as men in the sense that we need to be "wombless" in order to be equal. Abortion is the suppressor of women. Abortion exploits women and turns them into murderers. Abortion destroys women, not pregnancy. Pregnancy is not a disease, it is life sustaining life.

I have had an abortion. So my baby could not "think" or "feel" as you claim, but what about me? I can certainly think and feel, and my abortion has haunted me for almost 16 years. At the time I was very confused and scared. I was only given information about abortion. I was told we had made a mistake that we needed to "fix." In my soul, I knew it was wrong, but I agreed and went along, because it did seem like it would fix our "problem." I was put to sleep for the abortion, I saw or heard nothing of the actual procedure. In fact, I really didn't even know what was even done to me or the "tissue."

Afterwards, I was not me. Who ever I was before the abortion, that person has never existed again. I felt tremendous grief, I had bouts of uncontrollable crying, I was in deep despair, my heart HURT, I was angry, I hated him for it, I had severe anxiety. Even though no one knew, I honestly felt that people knew what I did when they looked at me. I felt like an out of control crazy person, and it was deeply embarrassing. Why? I was not a Christian, I didn't attend church. No one knew about it except for us, there was nothing on the outside convicting me. So why? What about my thoughts and feelings?

I never even realized for all these years that it was the abortion that was making me feel this way. 16 years of torture all for a lie. It didn't "fix our problem" it created more. I couldn't stand to be with him anymore, I thought, "How can we have kids together in the future, when we killed our first one?" It affected all my subsequent pregnancies. I felt unworthy and unfit, like I didn't deserve to have a baby. I was extremely suicidal. My husband has found me with a tourniquet around my neck. When I was pregnant with my 2nd living child, I really believed I would give birth to him, and then walk down to the bridge over the river just a block away and jump off. I did not want to hurt another baby, I did not want to live.

I did not want to feel this way, I just wanted to be me, to be normal again. I had counseling on and off, been on different meds, self medicated, I grew up, got a degree, had a career, got married, had children, and nothing gave me my peace back. Nothing worked long term. I started to believe that I must just have some sort of genetic mental illness or something. It was just this past year that I finally saw abortion for what it was, and have been able to come to terms with it. That it was the murder of my own child that was haunting me. I saw for the first time what this aborted "tissue" looked like. It looks like a human, not just "tissue." It IS a human being. He or she was a part of me, as in came from my own flesh and blood, but was also his or her own being. I killed a part of me. My abortion hurt me. I was never able to grieve my loss, because it was suppose to be nothing! Just "tissue removal." Now that I have 4 living children, I can whole heartedly say that carrying a child to term for 9 months is NOTHING compared to the devastation abortion causes on a woman. Whether she comes to terms with it or not. Mind you no one else suspected it was the abortion that caused me so much trauma for so many years. Not even the ex-boyfriend who was the father of my aborted baby. Now looking back, he realizes it makes a lot of sense. So what about how I think and feel? What about how I was a "slave" to the deep despair of some how knowing on the inside that I killed my child, but not being able to come to terms with it on the outside? The fact that abortion made me a murderer.

Testimony of Lisa G

Abortion was not the answer...
I sat in church the other day beside my husband, listening to the yearly "Sanctity of Life" message. By now, it is a very familiar message for me. I have heard it many times, and even delivered it myself, both privately to individuals and publicly to large groups. Then the video began. Its message, too, is very familiar to me; the intricate design of life in the womb. Yet today, I was overcome with emotion…again. It was nearly uncontrolled emotion as I sat there and soaked in the images on the screen. I cried in complete humility of the Truth portrayed in the images, and for God’s amazing grace. I wretched as I tried to contain the sobs coming out of a complete and utter brokenness over the lies that women buy every day. I bought them too, twice…                   

Although I grew up in a home devoid of expressions of love, where anger was the dominant emotion, I was a very happy go lucky child. I spent most of my time outdoors and at my friend’s house. I loved to laugh and enjoyed being around people, especially babies. I have always loved babies. My dream was to be a wife and Mommy. I was sexually abused as a young child by a neighbor and that, coupled with the craving for love and acceptance I did not find at home, taught me to seek my “dream” in all the wrong ways. I became sexually active at 15. By 18 I was pregnant and married to a man who felt obligated after I refused to abort our baby. Five years later, we had a 4 year old and 6 week old daughter. My dream was once again shattered when I learned of his infidelity. Seeking comfort from another man outside my marriage, we separated shortly after. I continued in the relationship with this new man. Once again, I was using what I had been taught to gain acceptance. Six months into the relationship, I got pregnant. My first reaction was fear. Though I desperately wanted to live my childhood dream, the lies began creeping in. “If I keep this baby, then my husband will take my other 2 children away.” “If my parents find out, they will hate me” “I won’t be able to continue in Nursing School with another baby”… my boyfriend said he would support me in whatever I chose. The only friend I confided in responded, “Abortion is no big deal…I had one” It was sealed…Feeling as if I had no other choice, I exercised the legal “choice” to abort my baby.
 
I vividly remember sitting in the waiting room and pleading internally for someone to stop me. I wanted my boyfriend to step in and protect me and rescue me. I was screaming inside and wanted to run. Fear was the glue that held me there. I desperately wanted Hope…it would not come for years. The “counselor” at the Family Planning Clinic, seeing my tears, simply said, “It will be okay, honey. You are doing what’s best for you” I silently justified, “I have no other choice” Immediately following the procedure I was relieved it was over but I was numb, broken and empty. The finality of my empty womb set in almost immediately. Then the guilt came. Guilt overwhelming and consuming, yet I really couldn't even put a finger on it. After all...abortion is okay, right? It's legal. Many women have had abortions. It must be okay, right?
 
Two hours later I left that clinic with emptiness in my core being that would turn darker and darker as time went by. The ride home was silent, and we never mentioned it again. I became careless and almost daring myself to get pregnant again. I did, a year later. After experiencing heavy bleeding I went to my OB/GYN and was told I was miscarrying. A week later when I took another test and it was positive, I made an appointment for an abortion. I was so hardened by this time, I left feeling bold and confident.
 
Over the next several years, from time to time the issue of abortion came up in conversations at work, or with friends. I would express that I was “personally pro-life…but pro-choice for other people.” I remained SILENT about my “choices”. My boyfriend and I married after Nursing School and we had a daughter the next year. This pregnancy brought up many emotions for me. I had nightmares about a deformed baby, and I was terrified something was wrong with her. During delivery, my Physician even asked me why I was so afraid something was wrong with her. I made no connection between my irrational fears and my abortions. The anger within me grew. Still no one other than my husband and friend knew of my “choice.” Inwardly, there was a turmoil that was never settled. I resented my husband for insignificant reasons. I would swing from intense love to intense hatred for him. I was no longer the “happy go lucky” girl I had always been. My wittiness turned more to sarcasm and condescending stabs at other people, even my children. I hated myself and was having a harder and harder time loving others…including my 3 girls. I began to drink heavily and that compounded my depression.
 
By now, I had no mental connection to my abortions and my spiraling depression and self- hatred. I constantly pushed my husband away. I distanced myself from my girls. I suppressed my abortions so much so, that I didn't even make a connection between the slow destruction of myself, and the quick destruction of my babies....because... abortion is okay, right?
 
Over the course of the next 9 years, the self -hatred, anger and depression drove me to the point of attempting suicide in 1998. And that is where I met HOPE. Hope in the forgiveness of Jesus Christ, who covered the sin of my "choice" with His precious blood on the cross. When I could no longer carry the weight of who I was, I fell to my knees as my brain screamed "I want to die!"...Praise God, as I cried out, it became not a head cry for death...but a heart cry for life! Forgiveness was immediate... healing from the scars of my "choice" , and being set free from the silence, would come over the next 7 years. Through a private Bible Study, Forgiven & Set Free recovery program, support from a local Crisis Pregnancy Center and God’s abundant mercy, my husband and I experienced healing. We were able to forgive one another, and openly mourn the absence of our babies at a Memorial Service for the Preborn. I still weep from time to time, not as a condemned woman, but in sorrow of not being able to hold my babies on earth. I long for the day I meet them in Heaven.
I can no longer be SILENT...I am a VOICE for truth.

Friends, I know the statistics. 1 in 3 women exercise their "free choice" to abort...and are then in bondage from their decision. If you are one of them, and have not been HEALED & SET FREE...I beg you, please, seek help to recover. Contact me...you will find nothing but compassion here. My heart is breaking for all who have bought the same lie I did...because, NO...abortion is not right....it's just legal.
But forgiveness is a beautiful thing!

Testimony of Rosie

I have gone thru 2 unwanted pregnancies and 1 pregnancy that I wanted very much but she died. As for the 2 unwanted pregnancies, of course we know I aborted the one or two. I always wanted twins and who knows it might have been my twins I always wanted. The pregnancy I aborted might have been my twins. Yes, I have confessed my sin and I believe God has forgiven me because that is his word. My children all know about the abortion, not because I am proud of it (cos I AM NOT) but because If I can help them or anyone else to not go thru what I have, then I will! I went thru a lot of Pain & Agony because of that abortion. That abortion hurt more physically than any of my labor & deliveries. I felt like my insides were coming out, then afterwards I found out how my baby(s) was killed. It really was a nightmare and agony! For a long time I couldn't accept God's forgiveness. I cried many nights. Finally the only thing that did help me is that I know God has forgiven me and that my daughter Amanda would not be here if I hadn't gotten the abortion. I would have been pregnant, (3 months after my abortion I got pregnant again) therefore I couldn't have gotten pregnant for her. The other unwanted pregnancy was for my son Tadd. I had just gotten back with my husband George after a 3 yr separation w/ us being in different states. I had gotten saved, he said he had changed, so we thought we may be able to work it out. He began being abusive again and I knew it wouldn't change so we separated again and finally divorced. I begged God to make me have a miscarriage, all along my pregnancy. I did not want another baby by myself. My son Tadd, had a lot of problems during labor and delivery. I didn't get to touch him till he was 3 days old or hold him for a week. All the time in labor and delivery I was begging God to NOT take my baby. My pregnancy I wanted very much was new husband and my last child, Allissa. We even prayed & ask God to save Allissa but unfortunately God didn't give us our little girl. God saw the whole picture not just a piece of the puzzle like we do. He knew it was best for her to go to heaven. She had 4 holes in her heart, a valve that wasn't closed & a missing bone between her knee and ankle. She could have been blind or deaf and definitely be worse than Down Syndrome. She probably would have been a Vegetable and that is no way of life. The Doctors encouraged us to make it easier on our family and abort her when I was about 6 months along. After everything I went through in the other abortion there is No way I would abort another baby! They even ask us to sign a do not resuscitate if she was born not breathing. We told them No, You do everything you can for her. She lived one day but was a beautiful baby and we are so thankful that we trusted God! So yes My answer about abortion is different than years ago. Abortion should never have been legal in the first place, then I wouldn't have had my abortion. No I am not blaming anyone but myself. Yes I am a Christian, because I have accepted Jesus as my Savior, believe the Jesus was born of a virgin & believe the Jesus is the son of God. I pray for others and ask for forgiveness all the time.

God Bless You,
@}--\-,---
Rosie

If you struggle with the pain of abortion or if you know someone struggling, there is help! Email

Testimony of Suzie S.

This is my testimony. This is where I was! I became pregnant at the age of 19 and my boyfriend was 21, that was 29 years ago. When I found out I was pregnant I was scared. When I told my boyfriend he was also scared. Scared to tell his parents because he was the oldest and didn’t want to disappoint them. He told me... you can’t have this baby. So what was I to do? I felt I had no choice, but to have an abortion. When the day came my boyfriend picked me up and left me at the clinic. I was all alone with no one to support me. When the time came for me to have the abortion I was so scared I believe they explained what they were going to do…but I was numb all over. When they performed the abortion, day….I will never forget the sucking sound in that cold room. That was the day I died emotionally. I did care what happened to me, I was worth nothing. When my boyfriend picked me up and he took me home. I hid the abortion from my mom she just thought I was sick. From that day on we never talked about it again. I never grieved for my baby. This became my dirty little secret! I stayed with my boyfriend because I figured no one else would want me. I ended up marrying my boyfriend how stupid was that? Like I said earlier this was as good as it was going to be. I actually resented him for not standing up to his parents and protecting me. I lived in silent pain for many years. I ended up having twins at age 20, a boy and a girl. I thought to myself why is God giving me twins….when the year before I killed my baby. At 23 I had another boy. I loved my babies and I did the best I could with what I had. There was times when I couldn’t bond with them ….because I thought to myself you don’t deserve these babies. I punished myself for years. I felt trapped in marriage, I just wanted out. After 13 years of marriage we divorced. We stayed civil for our kids. I didn’t want my kids to feel the way I did not having a father in their life. We did the best we could to co-parent….I know I taught my kids things like hiding your emotions, having no peace with yourself. I never said I hated their dad, but they saw it. These were all unintentional. I didn’t wake up one day and say “I’m going to scar my kids” no that’s not it at all, but that’s all I knew.

And this is where God has taken me!

I remarried in 2002 to my high school sweetheart we were both 16 when we met. He was already a Christian, but had walked away from God due to issues in his life. During our marriage I always felt something was missing in my life….so I started asking him questions about Christ. He felt much conviction because he walked away from Christ. In 2008 I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, and my husband rededicated his life to Christ. When I started going to discipleship classes at church, I knew I had to let my dirty little secret out. Our pastor was our teacher and we talked about what I did. We prayed and I asked God to forgive me, I just needed help in forgiving myself. You see I blamed my ex-husband for many years that it was all on him. I knew God had forgiving me, but I just couldn’t forgive myself because I didn’t want to take responsibility for my choice, then when I realized I made that horrible choice too, I had to own it, take responsibility in that horrible decision and that is where I found my Freedom!

I am no longer ashamed of my past, my dirty secret. I have shared my testimony at church and when God opens the door. I am no longer a victim, I am a survivor. I now volunteer at a pregnancy center to counsels women who come in pregnant and don’t know where to turn.
I participated in an awesome bible study with four women at my church, it was dealing with our past. You know we can’t do anything about the past, but this class gave me answers as to why I made certain decisions in my life.

Here is a letter I wrote to my childhood system (my past)

Today, I hereby state and choose to say my last good-byes to my childhood system, the deceits and all the setbacks that I encountered because of these things. The devil wanted me to stay in that destruction, but God has set me free from all of that.

I say my last good bye to being lonely; with God in my life I am no longer alone. I say my last good bye to not hearing that you are not loved, because God tells me every day that he loves me. I say my last good bye to people pleasing; God is the one I choose to please. I say my last good bye to corrupt relationships, my relationship with God will make my relationships healthier. I say my last good bye to forgiveness upon myself. God forgave me the first time I asked him. I say my last good bye to my abandonment issues; God has promised he will never abandonment me. I say my last good bye to all the disapproval issues, God will lift me up when I’m down. This is it and no more……… big sent off, farewell, goodbye, adios, ta ta, to all this damage that the devil wanted me to stay in.
Hello to my Life in Jesus Christ.

If you struggle with the pain of abortion or if you know someone struggling, there is help! Email

They Say I Shouldn't Be Allowed To Live

by Carrie Holland Fischer on November 4, 2012

I was out shopping one day and overheard a conversation that made me all the more determined to stand up for the right to life. The conversation was about taxpayer dollars and abortion. As I listened. I realized that I was the subject and my right to life was being questioned. A lady was talking about how “people like me” were a burden on society and how I was the reason abortion existed. “If people like me” were aborted, then taxpayers dollars wouldn’t be wasted and spent on having to “take care of us.” There would be more money for other people and programs. I could feel the anger rising on the inside of me. “People like me?!!” I turned and asked. “Are you saying that just because I was born a certain way that I shouldn’t have been allowed to live? She looked at me and then started talking about how “people like me” couldn’t possibly have a happy or fulfilling life. We would never have a successful, quality life anyway. What was the purpose for us being born? By this time I was really angry and wanted to get in her face. Why shouldn’t I be allowed to live? Because I look different? What about those who were conceived in rape or incest? Do they not have the right to live? The lady looked at me and asked, “Do you really think it’s fair to let them live, knowing the hardships they will face? Can you imagine the teasing and bullying they will have to endure?” I do understand, because I went through that for most of my life. I was teased constantly by my peers, and even by my teachers. The lady stood firm in her belief that “people like me” were better off aborted. I stood by my belief that everyone should have the right to life. Who was this lady to judge me? Who was she to decide who should live or die? How did she know what kind of life I would have? Before she walked away, I told her. “One day you’re going to get old and it’ll be my tax dollars paying your Medicaid or Medicare. What if I were to consider you a waste of my money? What if I were to say you are old and no good, you should be dead? Think about that next time you want to criticize and complain about “people like me.” The lady looked at me and walked away.

An Open Letter - I Am Pro-Life

This was written by a Facebook Friend, she has given me permission to share it with you.

Greetings fellow parishioners, followers of God. My name is Kate Behselich and I am 24 yrs. old. I am writing to you all on behalf of the ones that are unable to speak for themselves, those that have been silenced. You should all be aware of the horrific aspect that is killing millions of innocent lives and that is killing me inside as well. What I would like to address are the realities of abortion and how your actions can help me - as well as millions of other Christians - stop abortion once and for all.

    A recent personal experience of mine at work helped to show me the difference in viewpoint between people that are pro-life and those that identify themselves as pro-choice. A baby shower was to be held for the mother of an unborn baby. The doctor told her that she would be having a boy. Although the child hadn’t yet been born, here we are already identifying the child by gender, calling it by name, and showing the little one respect.

    Later that night I was thinking about the baby shower, and then it hit me. We pro-lifers call the party a “baby shower” because there is a yet-to-be-born baby still in the womb, a life to be lived, ten fingers, ten toes, one heartbeat, one body, one life. A pro-choice person would call the shower a “fetus shower”, but then again there would be no fetus shower because there would be no fetus.

If it had not been for Facebook coupled with my faith in God I probably would not have had the courage to actively take a stand against abortion. I am pro-life and proud to declare it here in this letter. I have been, like most of you I’m sure, a pro-lifer, but mostly in silence. Sure I’d talk to certain people about it and vote pro-life, but after having recently found a link for a cause on Facebook called “Together we can end abortion”, I am now an active pro-lifer. The thing about this site that really caught my eye was that it allows anyone to join, view, and comment on all of the political topics as well as the individual stories being told. Many of the articles and personal experiences opened my eyes and I soon found myself in the WAR against abortion.

    The fight is on and I’m not backing down. “Sure,” you say, “you have so many friends.” But when I’d post a fact or story about the atrocities of abortion I’d only receive a few comments from those agreeing with me.

I’d like to share a story that I found on the Facebook page “Together we can end abortion.”

 “A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said:

'Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help! My baby is not even 1 year old and I'm pregnant again. I don't want kids so close together.'

So the doctor said: 'Ok and what do you want me to do?'

She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.'

The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady: 'I think I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you too.'

She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.

Then he continued: 'You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time, let's kill the one in your arms. This way, you could rest some before the other one is born. If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is. There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.'

The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child!'

'I agree', the doctor replied. 'But you seemed to be OK with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution.'

The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point.

He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb. The crime is the same!

Love says, “I sacrifice myself for the good of the other person.” Abortion says, “I sacrifice the other person for the good of myself.”

    Many people commented about this story, and needless to say opinions varied greatly. I then shared this story with my friends on Facebook and also received mixed reviews. One negative comment was from a young Catholic mother, whom I pleaded with and asked her, “After bringing the greatest gift into the world, life, why would you want other women to murder the life inside of them?” I pray for the men and women and yes even doctors who don’t acknowledge the difference between right and wrong.

The following is one description of the five steps of a partial birth abortion…

1. Guided by ultrasound, the abortionist grabs the baby’s legs with forceps.
2. The baby’s leg is pulled out into the birth canal.
3. The abortionist delivers the baby’s entire body, except for the head.
4. The abortionist jams scissors into the baby’s skull. The scissors are then opened to enlarge the skull.
5. The scissors are removed and a suction catheter is inserted. The child’s brains are sucked out, causing the skull to collapse. The dead baby is then removed.  

  How can we murder our own children?

    Unfortunately, there are organizations out there such as Planned Parenthood that spend millions upon millions of dollars trying to convince the American people that abortion is okay.

    When looking at an ultrasound do you not see a heartbeat, ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes?  Does this not mean it is human? What other species could it belong to when it is coming out of a female human being? A mutilated aborted baby is torn apart piece by piece. So if not born whole or brought out of the womb as a complete body, is it not considered human?

    Makes you wonder if anybody who is pro-choice or who works in an abortion clinic has kids? What do they call them? A failed abortion attempt? Is a fetus not the same thing inside a pro-life woman and a pro-choice woman? A sad truth is if a baby is wanted then it is considered a baby, if not it’s just a blob of tissues, cells and bones. So are we not humans outside our mother’s wombs? Are we not tissues, cells and bones? What makes us any different inside or out? Are we more special than those unborn that are inside the womb growing? As born humans we are continually growing older, growing physically, mentally and emotionally.

    I ask you, “Where are you? Why are you standing in the shadows? Why are you standing behind fear?” Yes, I too was doing exactly that until I realized this; that shadow, that fear, that darkness was the devil and he wants you to stay there. He wants you to hide away and not stand up, not to come out and speak the truth about abortion and speak the goodwill of God. I say it’s time to take a stand; it’s time to believe first in God and then second in you! Without both resolve and strength from God you are standing on the side of evil. It doesn’t have to be a huge step at first but a few small steps then you realize that you are gaining the courage God is giving you, the strength to continue, and the wisdom to know the difference between right and wrong.

    We need to not be silent like the unborn and aborted babies. They don’t have a choice in the matter, WE DO! We must speak for them in unison, crying out to our government and to God to stop this action from taking place. The sad truth is that as long as there is evil there will be abortion. But fighting for change, real change, can and will help save unborn babies’ lives by changing the minds of women who want to abort (for any reason) and politicians who believe that murder is right and just.

But we must not lose FAITH, we must BELIEVE.

    I look to the leaders of our nation, asking them to face the reality of abortion and choose the right, the right to life for all human life. Please contact our leaders and tell them that you can no longer allow the horrors of abortion to continue! STAND UP AND FIGHT!!! With God nothing is impossible! With God and your help we can end abortion forever.

All it takes for evil to prevail is for good men (and women) to do nothing and to stand silent.

If your have been affected by abortion in any way or you or someone you know is thinking about an abortion, please join us here.

 

My Abortion Experience

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Abortion - The Truth